not broken just bent

No query updates this week, sorry. I don’t have the spoons for it. It’s not good, though. Got another rejection this week. A nice one. So, silver lining. Also, I fully stole this title from that P!nk song, which I love (except for the super-blatant gaslighting: the male singer literally says, “It’s all in yourContinue reading “not broken just bent”

managing, sort of

Query Week 5Queries sent: 20Rejections: 6Full/partial requests: 0 It is the 7000th month of Covid, and the new variants are creating a third fricken’ wave of this horribleness. It snowed yesterday (in April…), my uterus is being wrung out like wet laundry, and I have a headache. I am not having an awesome time rightContinue reading “managing, sort of”

either it’s worth doing, or it’s not

Query Week 3Queries sent: 13Rejections: 4Full/Partial Requests: 0 We spend so much of life trying to answer questions that we forget to consider whether the questions we’re asking are useful to us. Questions like Is it difficult? Will it cause me struggle? Will it be a hit to my ego? are fine, and there’s noContinue reading “either it’s worth doing, or it’s not”

everything is scary when you’ve never done it before

Querying week 2Queries sent: 10Rejections: 3Full/partial requests: 0 Let’s talk about fear: gut-clenching, heart-pounding, throat-closing fear. Evolutionarily, fear serves an important role; it tells us when shit’s going wrong, and gives us a boost of energy to deal with the threat (fight, flight, or freeze, baby!). Most of us are not being stared-down by aContinue reading “everything is scary when you’ve never done it before”

this is what it sounds like when doves query

Obviously, it’s me that’s querying, and not doves. But there’s no songs about humans querying, so I had to reach a bit. (Also, weird random fact: I was convinced that this song was by Duran Duran and not Prince. I literally got into a yelling match with my BFF about it. Like, in our 30’s.Continue reading “this is what it sounds like when doves query”

sometimes it really is okay

If you’ve been reading my stuff (and thank you for that!), you’ll know that I have depression and anxiety. It’s not awesome most of the time. I get so used to things being not awesome that I forget that sometimes things can be, you know, awesome. Sometimes there really isn’t anything to be worried about,Continue reading “sometimes it really is okay”

ideas flow from stillness

If you haven’t noticed, stillness is hard for me. With Covid, a separation, a move, and more Covid: stillness has been even more fricken’ hard. I saw a counsellor yesterday, and they recommended hypnotherapy meditations. This morning, I tried a 12-minute meditation. I picked it because it was the shortest one on the website. MyContinue reading “ideas flow from stillness”

the ultimate longshot

I bought a bottle of wine called The Ultimate Longshot a few weeks ago. I am drinking it tonight. So now my drunk-ass self has some things to say. I bought it because I was drawn to the bottle. Apparently, post-separation me makes purchasing choices based on being drawn to shit. My favourite purchase, post-break-up,Continue reading “the ultimate longshot”

the unbearable heaviness of covid

Sometimes I wonder why I’m struggling. Then I remember that we are seventeen thousand months into a massive global pandemic, with no end in sight. And now there’s a new baby pandemic that is breaking off from the first one, and is a million times worse. It’s bad. And although we can be grateful thatContinue reading “the unbearable heaviness of covid”