let your heaviness be heavy

It’s been a heavy while, hasn’t it? We’ve carried the heaviness with us; the weight of missing loved ones, and the grief of lost plans. For those of us who have seen loved ones struggle with physical or mental illness, that weight is even more burdensome.

Sometimes it feels like a physical weight; a pulling-down on my shoulders. My back hunches up against it and my breathing becomes laboured.

When heaviness comes and it is too much for me to handle, I have worked on letting the heaviness be heavy. Sometimes I just lay on the ground, feeling the heaviness all over my body.

Then something interesting happens. I feel the ground holding my body up. I can feel every part of my body that touches the ground being supported. If I’m outside, I can feel the grass and dirt under me, the living earth. I let my body remain where it is for as long as I need to. I don’t need to move or do anything; just let me heaviness be as heavy as it is.

When the heaviness lightens (and it will), I let it be lighter. When I’m ready to get up, I get up.

If I am caring for my children and get hit with the heaviness, I sometimes offer them to draw on my body with tattoo pens. My kidlets are still wee (6 and 9 at the time of writing), so they are glad to crawl all over me and cover my skin with their designs. Or I can turn on a show, and we can all lay on the floor and watch it together.

I find it helpful to let my feelings be as they are. Expecting to feel a certain way can lead to frustration and discouragement. Being with your feelings can allow space for difficult times. As writers, we are witness-bearers to all human emotions. We do ourselves a disservice to not let our heaviness be heavy.

Featured image was created by the author using elements from canva.com.

Published by amy

Coffee-drinker, money-saver. Laughs at "that's what she said."

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