how to keep your failures from piling up

If you try, you will fail. Guaranteed. Trying = failure. So it’s not a matter of if you fail, but when. And, really, failing is a good thing. Failing means that you took a risk.

Risk-taking is an essential part of being a writer. Or any kind of creative, really. Putting your art into the world means you’ll need to wear your ovaries on the outside (or whatever generative body part you have). You’ll need a thick skin, and you’ll need to be able to tolerate failure.

I notice that I tend to let my failures get bigger and bigger. I let them slop on top of one another in a giant steamy pile of failures. I’ll find myself saying, I shouldn’t be failing at this; I already failed at that other thing I tried, and the thing before that.

Failing is always gonna feel like crap. And that’s okay; some stuff just feels like crap. Let yourself feel the failure. Maybe have a glass of wine or take a bath. Do something that makes you feel better. Then leave the failure where it is. Marie Kondo that shit: tell the failure, thanks for your service. I will leave you here.

If you pick up the failure and carry it along, it may start to interfere with your ability to be wholeheartedly creative. Your failures will start to get heavy, and you will weary of carrying them.

Even worse, failure may make you want to stop trying. Don’t let your failures become bigger than your hopes.

Easier said than done, right? Don’t I know it. Letting go of failures is an intensive process, and it takes a ton of soul-energy. Ground yourself in who you are.

I got a tarot reading recently, and one part that struck me was when the reader said, “It’s not you against the world.” When I fail, I think about that. It’s not me against the person who didn’t give me the opportunity that I had hoped for. That person is doing their best, just like I am. We’re both trying to make our way in the world. I can send them caring vibes, even if they don’t give me what I was hoping for.

It can be terrifying to put your dreams out into the world. It may feel like your dream is the most fragile thing in the world. In reality, your dream is as strong as you are. And it’s up to you to let go of your failures so that you can hold on to your dreams.

Featured image was created by the author using elements from

Published by amy

Coffee-drinker, money-saver. Laughs at "that's what she said."

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