Folks look at me with confusion when I tell them I’ve written a novel-length manuscript. (I’ve actually written two, but one is laying around collecting dust.) They look at me like I just told them I have three nostrils, or that I sleep hanging upside down.
I guess the reaction makes sense: there is something about writing tens of thousands of words, literal reams of paper, that perhaps shows that your priorities are a bit out of whack.
Folks who would be impressed by my writing prolificness (prolificity?) maybe would be less impressed to look at my daily life. My house is a total mess. My car is a rolling disaster area. I have literally not brushed my hair in probably a month– yikes. I know.
I’d like to blame this on the COVID lockdown, but it’s actually just the way I am. I spend two seconds in the morning getting ready, and about six seconds getting ready for bed at night. I just have way too much stuff to do in a day to worry about what I look like. Mental health is a factor too, for sure– anxiety and depression have been kicking my ass lately. It’s possible that shit will get back on track once I get on better footing mentally.
In the meantime, here I am. My hair is a mess, and my mind feels like a basket of tangled yarn. But I’m writing.
I’ve got lots of healthy stuff in my life too. I am financially stable. I have many loving relationships. My kids are healthy and strong. And I’m almost done my manuscript second draft. I guess things are okay, after all.
Being a passionate writer (or being a passionate anything!) usually comes with its share of challenges. I feel like my spouse is holding a lot of space for my writing, which makes for a weird marriage dynamic. I launch into monologues lasting upwards of 45 minutes about my novel. That must be really annoying, and I’m glad I’m not married to me.
All in all, I’m glad to have the passion I have, even if it makes my life a bit loopy and unbalanced. I’m making my way through life the only way I know how: with a lot of humour and coffee and jelly beans.
Photos are author’s own. Featured image was created by the author on canva.com.